It was November, and it was freezing and wet. i walked out of Cook County jail at right around 1230 a.m. This is one of the largest jails in the world, and it takes forever to get released. My court appearance that morning was at 9. Clark and Belmont courthouse. The judge dismissed my case, possession of residue, do to the fact that the empty heroin bag they were holding me for came back at 0.00 grams. imagine that. arrested for a chalky white residue inside a bag, that was found on me, after i had been detained by the Chicago P.D near Loyola University- for retail theft at a local grocery store. One of the many “hustles” that i used in order to support my insanity.
The largest man I have ever encountered stopped me at the door as i left to exit the establishment with my would-be loot: some Rogaine, Gillette razors, Advil, and Taster’s Choice instant coffee. Some pretty random items, but they sell quickly, and that’s what i needed. Quick. Easy. Instant gratification. He locked his vice grip hands on me and lifted me off the ground and slammed me into a Coin Star machine. My take spilling out on the ground for every customer in the front of the building to see. After I settled down, he loosened up on me, and i agreed to walk peacefully with him to his office, and wait for the police. After several paces, I attempted to get away from him with the weakest spin move ever recorded on grocery surveillance to this day. I found my self on my back, and pinned face to face with the man. I think i pissed him off. With a goose egg on my head and a pit in my stomach, all 145 pounds of me was hoisted into the air and carried to the loss prevention office, where i was handcuffed to a metal rail and the police were called.
I stood outside Cook County Jail with no where to go, at 1:00 am, in the freezing cold and rain. Broken. Scared. And alone. Back to the dope I went. To the spot. More. I remember being so afraid of using, that something inside me was gnawing at my insides. But there was a fear that trumped this feeling- NOT using. After begging the 10 year old kid i bought my stuff from for a rock and a blow, I was back in stride, and starving. But where could I find shelter, and food? I ended up at a 24 hour laundromat on Diversey Ave. just off of Milwaukee ave. Right next to the Dunkin Donuts that would be providing my next meal, but they didn’t even know it. 4:00 a.m came and went quickly, and I made my way back behind the Dunkin Donuts to the giant green metal box that would be providing my next meal. The dumpster. “luckily” for me, Dunkin Donuts kept all their day old baked goods in one group, and inside the plastic garbage bag sitting right on top for me, was breakfast. I frequented this spot for my meals for some time to come.
I scarfed down 3 of the best pastries I could find, and stuffed my back pack with about 15 more. I sat on a city bench on the street corner and ate, and cried. I finally fell asleep for maybe an hour when some passerby woke me up, He was just making sure I wasn’t dead. It was that cold. He gave me $20 to get food and dry my clothes, but guess what I did with the money?


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