I have always had very vivid dreams. A lot of times my dreams have been reoccurring, for instance; ever since I was a little boy I always had a dream of myself flying over a wheat field- in first person over hills and valleys until I came to the top of a very large hill and it revealed a giant oak tree and giant male lion, and then I woke up. I’ve always felt like I have had premonition dreams, and what I mean by that Is, I will have a dream tonight and though I can’t remember it all in great detail- something will happen the following day to trigger my memory of that dream. I’m sure although not how so- but dreams are in someway connected to déjà vu, our subconscious, and our visions of the future in some mystic way. A dream that I am going to tell you about I have only shared with a handful of people.
I was living with my parents in Senoia, Georgia and had just gotten out of Fayette County Jail and Coweta County Jail. I had been drinking quite a bit but was off of heroin, cocaine, and pills for quite some time. I slept in a spare bedroom in the house on Tracy court that my older brother owned and rented it out to us. I slept on the south side of the house on a mattress on the floor.
This dream was the most powerful and vividly real dream that I’ve ever had to this day. It was as if I had drifted from one consciousness to another and never actually fallen asleep at all. As I drifted off to sleep and faded into the blackness I went from falling asleep to slowly awakening in blackness. The blackest black and darkest dark I could ever imagine and I found myself coming back to consciousness staring at my feet which were wearing brown sandals similar to what I imagine people wore in the times of Jesus. I was standing in sand but like desert sand not beach sand. It was hot And I was confused at how I had gotten here. I took a moment to take in my surroundings and scan the horizon in all directions. As I turned myself around in a full 360° circle I realized that I was naked except for my sandals and there was nothing around me but sand and heat. It was dead silent for what seemed like several minutes. And then I started to feel a very deep earth vibration. It was similar to a freight train passing close by in the way that it shakes the earth but, not like an earthquake and it was very persistent and loud. Clamoring noises came with it like multiple Football crowds screaming at the tops of their lungs. As the rumblings continued I noticed that it wasn’t one, but two great vibrations coming in different and opposite directions- one from each horizon. I remember straining my eyes and squinting in both directions trying to locate the source of the sounds, the vibrations; and suddenly clouds of dust started to emerge from the places where the land disappeared in the sky began. Loud thunderings of screaming and snarling battle cries from both directions headed toward each other with me sandwiched in the middle.
As the line of objects on both sides Drew nearer and nearer to me I began to make out what they were. On one side horizon were the nastiest, nightmarish, filthiest, scariest looking horde of monsters that I had ever seen. Dark green, dark gray, black, slimy, scaly, scary looking demon things some with multiple heads, some with tusks, some with thousands of eyeballs, and the closer they got I could tell that they fucking stank. I could smell them and they smelled like rotting flesh. Some of them were riding crazy looking creatures that resembled elephants but had multiple sets of tusks and mouths like dragons. They had leather covered shields and giant crude mid evil looking weapons. I could clearly tell that these were the bad guys and they were getting closer and closer.
To the other side of me which I believe was my right side was another horde but this large military headed in my direction made me feel like I was looking at the good guys. Headed in my direction, were not like any human beings that I had ever seen. They had orange skin and blue skin and purple skin, and they were incredibly large- much larger than the average human being. And this group had armor made of gold and shields made of silver and jeweled crowns on their heads in golden and gemstone swords and staffs. And they rode on giant elephants and giant horses and they blasted trumpets in from their direction. The closer each army got to me the harder the earth shook and they continued on in my direction from both sides until I could see their eyeballs and just as each opposing hoard closed in on me as they were catapulting towards each other I felt more afraid than I ever felt in my entire life- asleep or awake. There was no escaping this I was naked and terrified and about to be crushed in the middle of a bloody battle. So I crushed my eyes shut and put my head down and squatted down into a little ball and prayed.
When I opened my eyes I had been moved and I was safely standing up on a hill that was not there before; and something was forcing me to watch as the battle waged on. A lot of the good guys and more of the bad guys died and very bloody and horrific ways. I saw heads crushed, entrails dumped out onto the ground, arms severed, blood splattered heads decapitated. The walls of warriors collided and just as quickly as they collided each row of soldiers fell one by one. But their stocks were always replenished as each side’s soldiers seemed to be constantly renewed by more from each respective horizon line. This terrible battle waged on for what seemed like hours, although it was probably only a couple of minutes, and suddenly a loud thundering trumpet blasted from the sky…
As this loud horn blasted down upon us, both sides just stopped fighting. They both looked as confused as I felt and they looked to the sky in awe.
I was then instantly transported into space, and saw that famous picture: “earth from the moon” as if I were standing on the Moon and looking at earth in HD vision. Our planet then turned a bright neon blue as if it were all covered in water and I was transported back to my desert hill. And just as soon as I stood back on the hill, a giant flying blue horse lighted down to the ground and reared back on his two back feet and neighed incredibly loudly and then shot what appeared to be blue fire out of his nostrils and onto both sides of the battlefield. But it wasn’t blue flames it was ice and it froze all of the, what I could only guess to be millions of battling soldiers in their places- frozen solid. And then the horse flew back and disappeared into the sky, and just as soon as the blue horse faded, an even larger red horse appeared on the ground. In the same fashion as his predecessor, he leapt up onto his back legs and neighed even louder than the first horse. It was deafening, and then he exterminated all of the frozen soldiers in white hot flames that he shot from his nostrils.
I remember the flames and the heat rushing toward me. I closed my eyes in fear and I prayed. But I was not burned and I was not harmed in anyway. I remember the fires meeting the ice and hearing the sound of rushing water as the amazing heat melted the frozen soldiers into nothing but char. I open my eyes. I had left the desert and was now floating on my back on a makeshift raft in the ocean. The waves carried my homemade log raft, which carried me; right up to the shores of a beautiful island oasis. I had absolutely no idea what had just happened, but as I made my way up onto the island sand someone whispered to me in my ear from behind my back, “I told you not to be afraid.”
And as I turned to see who whispered that from behind me I woke up on my mattress, on my back and I was not afraid.
I believe that this dream has stuck with me for so long now, because it was indeed powerful; but also because it is such great symbolism for the battles in life and in recovery.
“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, and against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12)
The war is worth it. It may be scary at times. We may feel naked and afraid. And we may feel like were losing, but if we keep our faith and keep battling, we can and do overcome.