Recently I found myself in a bit of a heated exchange on a Face Book thread when some one categorized my wife as “People like her” and it royally pissed me off. It pissed me off, not just because of the generalization and words used towards my beautiful wife, but because it simply isn’t true. The gentleman who used this language lives thousands of miles away, and as best as I can gather, has never even met her. And though I am sorry for popping off on him, and the words I used towards him; I am NOT sorry for defending her name and her honor. And his rebuttal to me was, “Ooh, this can’t be good for book sales.” Like I would take some kind of exception to that. I receive like three dollars a book, which I am grateful for. But selling books is not why I do what I do. I said it when I started my journey and my walk, that I do this just as much for me, as I do for you. I share what I believe is the capitol T truth, which is something that I have come to find out is subjective now a days. The truth is subjective to each of our own experiences and realities. My how far we have fallen. And the capitol T truth, is that the world needs more PEOPLE LIKE HER. My wife is gracious, understanding, a great mother and has a heart for serving others. If only this gentleman took the time to see that or know that, instead of categorizing her into some kind of group just because their political views differ. It actually hurts my heart, that we can allow something like politics destroy our fellowship with one another. Dude it’s not that complicated: Register, vote, and shut the fuck up. If your person wins, they win, if they lose, they lose. Grow up. But that’s not the point of this entry here, although it did need to be said. I am so sick of these armchair, apathetic do nothing no bodies who think they know so much better than the people who are actually in the trenches trying to drive change in this world. Yes, to my banquet friend, according to what they believe is right. But at least they’re doing something. If you knew better you would do better. Its as simple as that. When you wanna SHOW us what you’re doing to drive change for the betterment of human kind go right ahead, but until then just keep your opinions to yourself on your lazy boy at home while watching the news and complaining while doing nothing at all. So there’s that. And before you want to jump back at me, and say, “well what are you doing, Herb?” I’ll go ahead and tell you. I have recently authored not one, but four bill proposals that are in draft with State Reps now, heading to Indianapolis on some reform that is much needed here in the state of Indiana and I work tirelessly in the trenches to help people who suffer the way that I once did, from addiction and substance abuse. And I don’t normally talk about what I am up to, because I talk about it when it’s done. But I am just so sad and sick of how polarized we are as a nation right now. “No body’s right, if everybody’s wrong” – Buffalo Springfield. It breaks my heart that we’re all so concerned with being right, with being Dem/Rep that we forget about being kind, being humble, and being servants to one another. If you SAY you’re something, then DO something. I am a believer, and I do my absolute best in my human ability to live my life accordingly. Do I fuck up, yes. But I always do my best with my actions to live a fruitful and productive life. In word and in deed. Is this about book sales? No, but it is about LEGACY. I want to leave this world a better place than I found it, and I hope to inspire others to do the same. I want this world to know that I was here, and that I loved it and it’s people very much. And that’s what this is about. Think Globally, ACT locally. And I try my best to do that every day.

Now, Moving on to the point of this entry…

Recently, I put up a meme and my Two-Cents about how President Trump was “Showing us how easy it is to beat covid, all you need is a private chopper, and the best doctors in the world.” Which, I understand, yes, he is the president and he does REQUIRE the best care because he is the highest elected official in the Nation. I am not arguing that. But what I am stating is 1: ALL life is precious. and 2: He seriously lacks humility. Parading around and exposing his own protectors in a motorcade for pictures is low down and about as pompous as one can be. He showed zero regard for his own people that would dive in front of a bullet for him. It’s sad.

But anyways, Health care reform, or as I put it: QUALITY healthcare access. And for some reason, it got all Biblical and shit. Which makes zero sense, considering United Health Care didn’t exist when The Bible was being written, or the Constitution for that matter. Which, by the way, was written by (For the most part) Tax evading, slave owning, bootlegging old men who actually burned women alive “At the Stake” because they thought they were “Witches” Please, tell me why we should continue to follow in such out dated, Dark Ages, Pilgrim shit, just because it was written on a piece of hemp paper almost 300 years ago? I get it, Founding fathers and all that. But Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness, is about the only thing that we should keep from all that. Things need revised and our practices and approaches need to be able to adapt and evolve with the times. Covid didn’t exist in 1776, so the constitutional right bullshit dies right there. All life is precious. If we can invest in a fucking space force, to fight off aliens or some shit, then we can invest in community health centers for the less fortunate and disenfranchised. And if you think that I wouldn’t know what I’m talking about here, you’re wrong. I am the disenfranchised. I am in that “Sweet Spot” like so many of us, that I make too much to be on medicaid, but not enough to afford private health care. So we had to make a choice. We made sure that our children have adequate health care, and we just hope and pray that we can stay healthy long enough to see them succeed.

When I was all strung out before, I walked into a hospital here in northwest indiana, which I will not name, because I don’t mud sling, but it is the truth and I will swear to it until I die. But they told me they would take me in for detox, and help me get better. Only to give me the run around because I didn’t have health insurance. And once I finally had enough I told the lady that If they didn’t help me, I was going to kill myself, and you know what she did? She called the cops on me and had me escorted off the grounds and then gave this poor, homeless, strung out kid a ticket- like I would ever be able to pay it. What a cruel joke.

And what’s especially interesting to me, is that I have had dueling and opposite experiences with the same exact health care provider here locally, but not the same hospital as I just mentioned. I will never go back to that shit hole ever again.

When I was working for my first intervention firm they provided us with UHC insurance, and I actually had to use it once, as I was not feeling well. So I called a community health care center here in valpo, and explained to them what was going and told them my insurance info- and VOILA! Not only did I get an appointment, but I had one the next day. And when I got there, I was fast tracked in, and they all but gave me the purple robe and red carpet treatment! They knew they were getting paid, so they treated me SO WELL! This was the first time that I ever had insurance and it felt good to be seen, and to feel like they were actually caring for me. I was in and out, and on with my life. But oh contrare, when I had to go back to the SAME community health center about 18 months later, and let them know that I was no longer with that employer, and had no insurance, and would be paying cash. They made me an appointment almost two weeks later, I had to wait for at least an hour, miss work, that didn’t provide me with insurance, and get this, when I went back, the doctor touched my ankle, touched my throat and then wrote down her notes on a fucking paper towel that she pulled out of the dispenser and sent me on my was like she was treating some type of farm animal. The same place. Like I wouldn’t remember being there before. What in the actual hell? I thought that all life is precious? I thought that no matter how they were getting paid, they were getting paid. I had cash, I could afford it, but because I wasn’t toting a blinging ass health insurance card, I was treated like some type of second class citizen, by the same place that treated me so well before. I don’t understand? I thought Doctors were doctors because they wanted to help people? And I thought that community health centers and hospitals were there to serve the community? And I thought that it didn’t matter what our situation was, That its our right to pursue happiness,which we need to be healthy to do? Doesn’t that include getting help when we need it?

No it does not.

That’s a fact.

It does not.

And that was the point of my meme and post the other day, before all the know it alls with their rose colored glasses sitting in their ivory towers chimed in, who “like the country and health care system just the way it is”

Yeah, because you’re personally unaffected by the gaps that it presents. But don’t worry, I am not unaffected by the gaps in our systems. I have fallen through the gaps time and time again, but I was able to climb out and report my findings to my fellow Americans and human beings. So that we can bring about change, stand in those gaps, and hopefully keep others from falling through that same gaps.

I now know why God allows suffering. So that we can survive it, talk about it, document it, help others, and leave a lasting legacy to help the next and current generation avoid the same suffering we once went through.


it’s as simple as that. If you SAY you’re something, or that you believe in something. Then DO something about it. Act. Lead. Drive Change. Write Policies. Stand in the Gaps. Lift others up. And Speak up to those in power about the pains that the human beings less fortunate than you are experiencing. Its awesome if you haven’t been through those gaps, but turning a blind eye to them doesn’t make them not exists. We need health care reform. Not free health care, but reform. Everyone’s care should be quality, no matter what. Nepotism doesn’t make you a better person than anyone else. And being born to a less fortunate socioeconomic background should not be punishable by inadequate healthcare. End of fucking story.

People are sick, suffering, and dying while praying for the privileges that so many of us take for granted every single day, and that some of us constantly flaunt in the face of others. Check your humility. Check your egos. We must be a light to those who live in the shadows, we MUST remember those who are less fortunate. We must be willing to stand in the gaps for those who have nothing to offer us in return. Someone did it for me, and it changed my life. And I will never forget it. If we experience Grace, Mercy, favor, and privilege, and we don’t in turn extend it back to others, then guess what? We’re all fucking thieves. If serving others is below us, leading others is beyond us. If we knew better we would do better.

Say Do.


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